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Jesus may have gotten booty, put a ring on it

In keepin’ with today’s Talk Like A Pirate celebration, ye might be thinkin’ that Jesus isn’t what you call “piratical.” But, he drank, hanged out on fishing boats and healed cripples, albeit it not...

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Jesus was a beer man

Every now and then Jesus likes to show up in unexpected places. You know, in pieces of toast and things like that. But now our lord and savior has decided to enjoy a brew. A man in Florida says he...

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HOLY S#@T!

Post updated at 5:00 pm EST on June 15, 2010. The Guys don’t pretend to understand God’s thinking, but it’s possible to extrapolate from this story that he doesn’t much care for the evangelical Solid...

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Shroud of trailin’ sold separately

Jesus comes in many forms and flavors: buddy, raptor, animated, internet and historically accurate (aka, black, aka, real) are just some of the ways he appears. However, there might be a new one...

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Move over, Levi Johnston

Some find him in a book. Some find him in a potato chip (but never a potato pancake). Some even find him in the bottom of a bottle. Personally, I see a bit of more of a resemblance of Anton LaVey, but...

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Well, He did love the whores

Members of the Our Lady of Lourdes Church received a special visit from the Nassau County (N.Y.) Health Department. It appears that someone on the “manufacturing” end of the communion wafers turned...

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Jesus has never been so cool

I come from a small town, and when it celebrated its 250th birthday about a decade or so ago, all that went down was a gathering of local merchants around the track field down in the football stadium...

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Jesus makes it rain

In life, there are times when actions taken honestly and wholeheartedly seem like the right thing to do. Perhaps it’s free will, perhaps there’s a guiding force behind why they’re done. And then there...

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Blasphanimals! Repent your hairesy!

The War on Animals has always been contentious. But, animals have crossed a line and turned this into a holy war. We cannot stress this enough: animals have attacked Jesus. A newly discovered — by...

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Jesus is back and he wants pizza

After taking nearly 2,000 years off, Jesus Christ has finally returned. And as it was foretold in scripture, He returned to break into a Pizza Hut in North Carolina. In the wee hours of the morning,...

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